My family is going to Yankee land (NY/NJ), as usual, but coming back with an extra [live] body. My mother-in-law will be coming down—permanently.
MIL (mother-in-law) will be living in an assisted living home. Her life hasn’t been the same since her boyfriend got sick and died. Tim and I thought it would be better if she lived closer to us since there is no one to watch her at the Jersey Shore.
It was always too much fun to go to the Jersey shore, even though certain tv shows gave it a bad name. Tim spent many summers there with his family and then his friends as he gotten older.
After MIL’s boyfriend died, she was depressed and now she seems so anxious that she doesn’t remember things. The doctor said it wasn’t Alzheimer’s. She constantly calls Tim if something isn’t working right in her house as if we live around the corner. Tim had to find her a new doctor in NJ and gave her directions to get to the place. She was afraid she would get lost and the place was 15 minutes away from her house.
Yes, it’s time.
It’s time for her to move closer, even if she if kicking and screaming. One minute she’s ok with the idea and the next she and Tim are fighting about it. Tim’s other brother, who lives 2 hours away from MIL, has not stepped in so she is coming to live down here.
She has recently fell at ShopRite because she was dizzy. A few days later, she had a pacemaker put in. This was the turning point or should I say, the final factor of her living down here with us.
Tim has been calling her everyday because she thinks that today is Wednesday, the day of her doctor appointment. So finally tomorrow she will go to her appointment.
My mom, on the other hand, is battling cancer for the third time. These cancerous cells she has now were left over from the last time she had cancer in the kidney. This is called renal cell carcinoma, or RCC. But the cancer has spread to her arm in the bone (metastasis). She’s on medication in order to stop the spread of the cancer. She can’t get help from radiation or chemo because it’s too late for that type of treatment. Now she has diarrhea all the time. This doesn’t make a comfortable visit when there is only one bathroom in the house.
My mom doesn’t want to move (she lives by herself) and my sister thinks she’s ok, health wise. At this point, she is at stage 4 in her cancer. My sister helps her whenever she can, but having 3 kids, finding time can be hard. Her friends (whose health is declining as well) drive her to the doctor. My mom still cooks. She says she can’t make her bed anymore, but she says she’s ok. Someone comes in to clean her house. She no longer goes outside (she loves being in her garden) because she’s not supposed to be in the sun and she’s afraid of getting West Nile’s virus. She’s another one with anxiety, but she won’t admit to it; she’s afraid of everything. If my mom and my sister says everything is ok, then I guess she doesn’t need to be in a home, huh? I guess moving where there is help for her isn’t the solution either. Am I being selfish or is my mom, asking her friends who have their own health issues to help out? I can’t force her, but my sister doesn’t know what she is in for, since she lives the closest to her.
So I will be with my mom while Tim gets his mom ready for moving her.
All I can say is wow…