Visiting family has never been easy for me. I’m 44 years old and my mom still treats me like I’m 12. Trying to have a conversation with her can turn into a lecture or telling me what I need to do. I snapped at her a few times because I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s not a great way to spend 2 weeks with your mother that has cancer.
I didn’t feel comfortable at her house. My son’s comfort level wasn’t that high either. There were times that she was just “testing me” to see how I would react. For example, I told her I was going to the city with my son to meet our cousin. She said, “Don’t think that you’re driving my car there.”
Since I didn’t have a car, I was planning to drive her car to the train station and take the train to the city. I paused and said calmly, “Will you drive me to the train station?”
She replied, “Yes.”
A few minutes later I said, “I wasn’t planning on taking your car.” I never drove in the city so why start now, I thought.
Her response was, “Oh, I know I just wanted to see what you would say.”
Wow, I thought. She was trying to get a rise out of me. Why? Is it because misery loves company? Is it because she’s not happy?
There was also a rule that no one was allowed on her bed because her comforter is white and she has decorative pillows on her bed that she doesn’t want anyone to sit on. She doesn’t even sit on her bed! If I was sick I would want to lay in my bed and be comfortable! She actually broke her rule a couple of days later because she fell asleep in a chair and hurt her neck.
There’s more to my perfect vacation, but another time.